“When you let go, you create space for better things to come into your life.” ~~ Unknown

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had chronically tight hips. When I work on hip openers, it’s like some form of mild torture. Poses like Pigeon Pose, Cow Face Pose, Eagle Pose and Frog Pose simply frustrate me to no end. Even as a child, I just couldn’t seem to move my hips in the same way that my friends could, and I always felt like I was missing out on something. And in yoga, whenever I see someone in Lotus Pose (which, in my opinion, is the crème de la crème of hip opening poses), I stare longingly, knowing my body will never be able to achieve that pose.

It wasn’t until I was in the advanced portion of my yoga teacher training that I realized that there were a variety of things responsible for my hip issues. In Yoga Therapy training, I discovered that my bony hip structure is simply flawed. A physical therapist ran that training, and when she conducted a physical assessment of me, she discovered that my bony structure impediments were keeping me from achieving a full range of motion in my hips. For my body, if I move too deeply in certain directions with my hips, it becomes bone on bone action…and THAT is not good at all! Perhaps it was because I was a breech baby…it stands to reason that, while your body is forming in the womb, if it’s not optimally positioned, the way your body grows could be compromised.

Of course, I also have tight hip muscles. I think the majority of us probably do. In our western society, we spend a lot of time sitting at our desks, on the couch watching TV, and in our cars. This takes its toll on our poor hips, causing physical pain the tighter they get.

Tight muscles I can work on. But changing my bony structure…umm, I don’t think so!

It’s important to note, though, that hip issues are not always because of physical reasons. Our emotional health can affect our hips in a big way, believe it or not.

If you’re a yogi, then I’m willing to bet you’ve been to a yoga class where the teacher has mentioned that the hips is where our emotions are stored. One of my teachers referred to the hips as the body’s junk drawer, because it’s where we store the emotions we don’t know what to do with. That description has always resonated with me, because I can totally visualize the whole process…something happens that angers me (say, a co-worker has gotten on my last nerve) and I avoid dealing with the anger by “tucking it away” until a later time. Except that I usually don’t end up dealing with it. So my hips get tighter and more painful. Then one day, I’m in a yoga class that’s heavy on the hip openers, and I suddenly find myself sobbing without knowing why.

Anyone else ever experience that? I bet if you have cried in a yoga class before and you think back on it, you were probably in a lot of hip opening poses prior to the emotional release. It’s analogous to “emptying out” the junk drawer…sometimes, you have to purge that junk out so you can have some space!

For the month of December, we’ll be focusing on hip openers in my yoga classes. Let’s look at some things that may help you understand the connection your hips have with so many different things.

The Physical Side

Often, people initially come to yoga because of physical pain. When that physical pain is manifesting itself in your hips, it’s important to understand why. The hip is a ball and socket joint, making its range of motion more varied than some other joints (like the knee). The hip can be abducted, adducted, and rotated externally and internally.

Because of its varied range of motion, hip tightness can stem from a host of issues including tightness in the quadriceps, inner thighs, hamstrings, lateral rotators, and psoas. In fact, lower back pain often stems from tight hips and buttocks muscles.

It could also be due to an abnormality with your bony structure, like what I have. If you think this may be an issue for you, then working with a physical therapist or yoga therapist could be beneficial.

The Emotional Side

As I mentioned above, the hips are considered to be the emotional storehouse of our bodies, the place where we store our deepest vulnerabilities. I’ve been told that WHERE you feel tightness or pain in the hips determines WHAT emotional issue(s) you have.

For example, if you feel pain or tightness in the front of your hips (i.e., your psoas and hip flexors), it could mean you have some fear of what’s in store for your future. Though I can’t prove that connection (I just haven’t gotten that far along in my studies yet), I can tell you that I have chronically tight hip flexors. Back when I was running regularly, I could chalk it up to that and deny I had any emotional issues. However, though I do still bike regularly (which also would contribute to tight front hips), it’s not the only reason I’ve got tight front hips. I must admit that I definitely fear for my future. When you have a chronic illness like I do, it’s hard not to worry about that stuff. I constantly worry about getting too sick to work, getting fired from my job because my brain fog has finally irritated enough of my co-workers that they clamor for me to be shown the door, and not being around long enough to see my daughters grow up into the strong women I know they will be. There are other things I worry about in terms of my future, but these are the ones that keep me up at night…and apparently the ones that keep my hips tight!

Similarly, if you experience tightness or pain in the back of the hips, which may include lower back and glutes, then maybe you’re having trouble letting go of the past. My back side is not as tight as my front side, though I do have tightness there, too. And I must confess that I sometimes find myself thinking of those “what if” scenarios. What if I’d focused more when I was a Russian major at UCONN and actually graduated when the rest of my friends did? What if I wasn’t so naive? I could go on, but you get the idea and hey…a girl’s gotta keep SOME secrets, right?

The point is this. If you are chronically tight somewhere in your hips, then it’s worth exploring why. If you can’t trace it back to a physical reason, then what might you be holding on to emotionally that is not serving you?

How to Open Your Hips

The hips are a tricky area of the body to open up. From a physical perspective, the hip muscles are surrounded by thick connective tissue. This means you have to spend some time in these poses to actually loosen up in this area. If you’re only spending 30-45 seconds in these poses, you probably won’t notice much benefit. Ideally, you should be spending 2-5 minutes in each pose if you want the full benefit. This may mean you need to learn to sit with discomfort, both physical and emotional. It can be uncomfortable to face your past and your future, but face them you must in order to truly let go and open up (How’d you like my Yoda reference? I’m super excited about the new Star Wars moving coming out this month!).

Once you’re in a hip opening pose, use your breath to help you. Focus on bringing your inhales directly into the spot you’re focusing on, and use your exhales to “let it go”. This can do wonders in helping to create the space you need in your hips.

There are three hip opening poses that I think should be done daily by everyone if at all possible, as they are wonderful in targeting the most troublesome areas of the hips. They are:

  1. Modified Runner’s Lunge. I strongly suggest doing this one with the back knee on the ground, and work on squaring your hips to the front as you sink into it (check out what that looks like here). This will really help to open up the psoas and hip flexors.
  2. Pigeon Pose. There are so many variations of this pose, so there truly is a version for you, even if you have bad knees. This one is great for tackling the outer hips…especially those glutes! Below is a pic of my friend in one of the variations.
  3. Reclining Twist. This is another pose that has so many variations. I love the version where you come into the twist with Eagle legs or Figure 4 legs, as it gets into the outer hips more, and especially targets the IT band.

There are so many other great poses that help with the hips. Some of my other favorite hip openers are:

I asked a couple of my yogi friends what their favorite hip openers were, and they graciously agreed to send me a picture of them in their fave pose, along with why they like it so much. Here’s what my friend, Pam Johnson, had to say:

“I’ve always carried a lot of stress and trauma in my hips, going all the way back to my teenage years. When I was first introduced to Pigeon, I would almost invariably cry each time after practicing it. Now I seek it out as a pose of comfort and healing; a place to allow the stress to seep out before my body holds onto it.”

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(This is Pam in a modified Pigeon Pose…doesn’t she look serene?)

My friend, Rita Hines, said this:

“I love Malasana because it is a great hip opener and a release for the low back as well.”

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(This is Rita in Malasana…I think she looks rather meditative here, don’t you?)

When you begin to release stored tension, you can open up wounds — the wounds from the trauma or stress that is being stored in your hips and caused the tension. So if you feel a rush of emotions in these poses, it’s a good thing.

Emotions are healthy. Historically, people have been taught to remain poised and collected at all times. Doing that makes it’s easy to suffocate those emotions so they don’t come out. However, I think that today, it’s becoming more and more acceptable to show your emotions.

Give yourself permission to explore these wonderful poses. Permission to be OK with letting your emotions out on your mat. If you come to one of my classes, you’ll see me smile when I notice a student finally let go of something huge.

It can be hard. It can make you cry, and it can even make you angry. But working through whatever emotions arise allows you to move forward. Which allows you to open up space in your life for love, compassion and positivity. It allows you to just be … happy.

Namaste,

Melanie

“I have worn my heart on my sleeve because it is too painful to carry it inside my chest. When I carry it on my sleeve, it has the freedom to exist, to beat in rhythm with the Universe. I feel like I’m more alive and yes, there are those who out of curiosity will say or do things that can cause its delicate existence to feel pain and sorrow. I would rather deal with that, than to put it back in its little cage where it knows nothing else but the rhythm of my body and my Ego. My heart was never meant to be part of my Ego. My heart was meant to experience the Soul.” ~~ C. C. Campbell

It’s been over two months since I last posted. Believe me when I say that it wasn’t my intention at all to take a hiatus. It’s weird, since I’ve been posting monthly, and sometimes even more than that, for years now. But as I mentioned in my last post, I enrolled in an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach program with the Integrative Wellness Academy, and I’ve been working really hard to make my way through. I decided that to focus on all the material the way I needed to, I needed to cut back in some areas. Unfortunately, my blogging was where I decided to cut, temporarily. But now….I’m BAAACK!!!

At this point, I’ve completed my program, and literally just found out that I passed…with a 100% on both the final exam and the practicum! Let me just say that I truly feel I chose a stellar organization for my certification. They are totally in line with everything I believe, and I love that the focus is on addressing all four areas of a person…Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual. If you aren’t addressing all four when coaching a client, then science shows that the ability to make lasting changes is not as likely. I am so excited to start working with people. I’ve got a few already, who I’ve been working with for free, so that I can get more practice and build my confidence. I hope they know how grateful I am for their willingness to put their trust in me to help them through the things they are trying to work on.

Throughout this entire process, I’ve been going through the process of being coached myself. After all, how can I expect to help others and feel confident that the tools and techniques work if I haven’t been through the process myself, right?

As I made my way through my own “stuff”, I realized I had a lot of deficiencies in the emotional realm. I don’t typically do a good job managing my stress, I don’t express my feelings very well when I am especially worked up about something, and I’m not one to relax and practice self-care by nature. So I spent a LOT of time working on these things over the past few months. And I must say, I really feel like I improved in this area tremendously. And the most important thing I did to get myself to the next level was to be more open.

Those of you who know me probably think I am already pretty open. But as I really dug deep within, I realized how much I bottle up my true feelings. I am always holding back, for fear of upsetting someone if I tell them what I REALLY think. And there are so many things that I’ve been through in my life that I have never shared with anyone. Not a SOUL!

But as I made my way through the process, I realized that all the things I’ve been through have made me who I am. And you know what? I actually, FINALLY, like who I am. No…scratch that…I LOVE who I am. Yes, that’s right…I actually LOVE myself. After all, how can I expect anyone else to love me if I don’t love myself?

Keeping everything inside for as long as I did…well, that’s what made me depressed. I felt like I had no one I could confide in. Or that people would judge me. And there were some things that I just needed to get off my chest, but I couldn’t. So I kept them inside and it festered. But going through this process made me realize that keeping things to myself — important things — is not healthy. And it’s selfish. Because there might be someone else out there, going through the same things I’ve been through, and maybe me sharing my story could help them. Help them realize they’re not alone, you know?

I’ve realized it’s necessary for me to speak my mind. I’ve been baby-stepping my way to that point, but I’ve definitely been able to be more open and honest lately. And while scary, it feels good.  To be able to be ME is kind of refreshing! And I feel like I’ve got WAY less ego than before. When I take on something, I am definitely thinking more about whether or not it is in line with who I am, rather than if it will get me “noticed”. So definitely less ego involved.

And as I go, I find more and more happiness. That’s what it’s all about. We should be doing things in our lives that make us happy. For many of us, it’s doing things for others. Whatever it is for you, make sure you’re doing it from your heart and not from your Ego. Once you get to that point, you will be amazed at how much lighter you feel…how much happier you will be.

Go ahead…give it a try. I dare you!

Namaste,

Melanie

destination

First of all, I must apologize for the lateness in this post. But as you continue reading, I think you’ll get an idea of why it’s taken me so long to get this together.

Since my last post, so much has happened for me…especially internally! Probably the biggest thing that happened is that I finally, after 5 YEARS, completed the curriculum for my 500-hour yoga certification (RYT-500). I’m the type of person who doesn’t believe in slamming in training after training without taking the time to process it and figure out what it means to me, and how I will use it for myself and my students. Or at least, that’s how I approach the things that really matter to me…and yoga is such a huge part of my life! So I took my time and I don’t regret it for a minute.

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(Here I am in front of the Asheville Yoga Center after receiving my certificate…I thought standing in front of this quote was PERFECT!)

Throughout this program, I figured out pretty quickly that I had a passion for working with people in a therapeutic capacity. In my life, there are so many I know who have issues with anxiety, depression, stress, chronic illness, injury…so many people suffering who feel hopeless. And guess what? I’ve dealt with each and every one of these things myself, and yoga has been a huge part in helping me manage these things since 1999. So while I may not be an expert in every area, I truly do feel I know quite a lot, and I feel I can use what I have learned to help others live a more productive and healthy life.

So, I’m done with this wonderful program and I’m thinking, “What now? What do I do with all this in a way that is authentic to who I am?” Several have told me over the past few years that I’d be a really good life/health coach, as I have learned SO much not just about yoga, but about the four pillars of health (Sleep, Movement, Nutrition, Stress Management). I’ve done SO much research over the years, and have found so many useful resources that help me manage my chronic illness…because when I slack in one of the four areas, my symptoms flare and I am MISERABLE!

But ME? A health coach? How would that work, if I am still a work in progress? I mean, don’t I have to be perfect in every way if I’m to coach others to find their healthiest and happiest selves? Am I healthy enough to be a health coach?

After meditating on this for WEEKS (well, if I am being totally honest, I’ve been meditating on this for months), and after doing quite a bit of research and having some heart-to-heart conversations with trusted friends and family, I decided something. When I really thought about it, even though I’m not perfect and am still actively working towards finding my sweet spot, I am doing my best to eat real food, exercise, and surround myself with positivity. And from what I gather, that makes me already WAY ahead of the curve, and that makes me more than qualified to help others.

Ever since I came to this realization, things have been falling in my lap that basically let me know it’s time to stop thinking about it and take action. So much so that this week, I did the SECOND biggest thing to happen to me since my last post…I took a big leap and enrolled in an Integrative Wellness & Life Coach Certification program with Integrative Wellness Academy. I really like their program curriculum, and the best part about it is that I have to go through the whole process myself, which will allow me to really understand what I’ll be putting my future clients through. I’ve already started, and am loving the content. And I’ll be honest…completing the Client Intake Form (which is the first thing a client of mine would need to do) was SO hard! It made me really take a long, hard look at ALL areas of my life and analyze where things are good and where things are in need of some revamping. There were some questions that I wanted to answer in a way that made me look better, but in the end, I decided to be totally and brutally honest. Which was HARD! But also freeing. It felt great to let go of some stuff I’ve been holding on to, and I can’t wait to see how MY coach will help me along the way.

I’m so excited! Excited to learn something new. Excited to know that I’ll have even more tools to help others. Excited to figure out how I will merge what I’ll learn in this life coach program with yoga, so that I can offer something unique while being authentic to who I am.

Part of me is scared to be sharing this, because what if I fail? But then I thought about how many signs have been given to me by God, telling me this is the right thing to do. Because believe me…God knows how stubborn I am, so he knows he needs to bombard me before I’ll actually notice and listen!

However, I know I’ve already helped many  people over the years, because they’ve told me so. This is just one more way for to me to formalize it a bit more, and gain more confidence in my abilities and knowledge.

Also, by putting this out there in BlogLand, I am hoping my readers will hold me accountable. Maybe some of you might even be interested in working with me, allowing me to get some practice and some honest feedback. If this is something you’re interested in, please e-mail me at scyogagirl@gmail.com and let’s try and work out a plan.

Now, does this mean I’m going to quit my corporate job? Not at all. I enjoy my job, and I am making a difference there, so I have no plans to leave that. But this coaching/yoga thing is something I feel drawn to, and I definitely feel it’s part of my future, so I need to see this through and figure out how to work it in to my life. I love the quote above by Martin Buber, as it really sums up how I feel right now…my journey is definitely proving to me that there are destinations meant for me that I am not even aware of yet. And I sure plan on enjoying the journey and learning every step of the way.

Namaste,

Melanie

“When cleanliness is developed, it reveals what needs to be constantly maintained, and what is eternally clean. What decays is the external. What does not is deep within us.” 
~~ Yoga Sutra II.40 ; Translation by T.K.V. Desikachar

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(Folly Beach at dusk, one of my favorite times of day to experience the ocean)

Saucha is one of the five niyamas, or observances, from Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. Literally translated as “cleanliness” or “purity”, saucha goes much deeper than its literal translation. Saucha is also about cleanliness and purity of thought and mind, in addition to the body. It has the greater yogic goal of mental and physical freedom and bliss. Sounds pretty great to me! Who doesn’t want freedom and bliss?

Each day, we can practice saucha in practical ways:

  • Showering (especially in these sticky summer months) not only cleans our bodies of dirt, but it energetically uplifts and refreshes you.
  • Choosing foods that are clean and easy to digest is not only healthy for your body, but these kinds of foods also help keep the mind clear. I know that for me, personally, when I eat processed foods, I feel sluggish and experience brain fog. And usually, my stomach doesn’t like me very much. But when I choose fresh, whole foods (like good quality lean meats and vegetables), I feel energized and ready to tackle most anything.
  • Setting aside time to focus on our bodies and our breath provides a sense of purity. You can do this in a yoga class, meditating, or any other type of activity where your sole focus is on paying attention to what your body and breath are doing.
  • Creating a clean, de-cluttered environment. For me this means a clean desk at work, a clean house (particularly my bathroom, bedroom and kitchen) and a clean car (I spend a lot of time in my car). This one has been very challenging for me lately, as I have been super busy with so many things. And believe me, I’ve noticed the increase in stress levels due to the clutter I’ve got going on. Bottom line, be mindful of your environment and how it affects your ability to cultivate saucha.

These are just a few things you can do. When I don’t do the things I mention above, I feel like I’m filling my body and mind with dirt…it’s like I’m saying to the Universe, “Gimme the dirt…bring it on!” But every moment can be lived with greater purity and energetic alignment as we become more aware of ourselves and our habits.  Taking a few deep cleansing breaths in the morning before we get out of bed, periodically throughout our day, or right before going to bed each night, can help in becoming more attuned to and protective of our energies.

Choosing to spend time with people whose presence makes us feel re-charged rather than drained is another. I had the good fortune to spend a week with my husband, children, and my husband’s family this past week at the beach. I must admit I was worried about spending an entire week with so many people in one house. But it ended up being just what I needed. The house was gorgeous, everyone had plenty of space to find time to themselves when needed, the weather was great, and everyone did their part to help out with daily chores. And because we had a whole house, we cooked the majority of our meals there, and they were pretty darn healthy! The smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves was very cleansing for me, so I definitely came home feeling clean, inside and out.

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(Folly Beach family beach shot) 

As we move through this very challenging season of summer (here in the southeastern United States, it is HOT!), sometimes tempers rise along with the temperatures and humidity. Make sure you take a few moments each day to  consciously create some clean and clear space for yourself…clear away all that “dirt”…your body, and your mind, will thank you for it!

Namaste,

Melanie

“A wild elephant has many wild habits. It runs away when humans approach. It attacks when frightened. Our mind is similar. When it senses danger, it runs away from the present.” — Jan Chozen Bays, MD in How to Train a Wild Elephant

Elephant attack (Photo courtesy of www.indiawilds.com)

Over the past several years, I’ve been drawn to elephants. I had no idea why, but I found myself gravitating to pictures of elephants, shirts with elephants on them, elephant figurines…you name it, and I wanted to touch it or have it if it had an elephant on it.

I definitely wondered why I had such a fascination with this animal all of a sudden, and I guess I sort of chalked it up to Ganesha. Ganesha permeates the yoga world…you can’t go anywhere these days without hearing Ganesha in a song, in a mantra, as a figurine on the mantel in a yoga studio, on a variety of yoga clothing…you get the idea. It makes sense. After all, Ganesha is the Hindu Lord of Good Fortune, the Lord of Beginnings and the Remover of Obstacles (both material and spiritual). And let’s face it. Many of us westerners come to yoga because we want to be better human beings, right? If we can remove the obstacles from our lives, we can have new beginnings and good fortune will come our way. Who doesn’t want that?

For me, yoga began as a physical practice. I just wanted some relief from the pain in my body, and some relaxation. Over the years, I’ve definitely evolved into a much more spiritual practice, as you know if you’ve been reading my blog.

Last month, I attended a training towards my RYT-500 certification, and it revolved all around the chakras and consciousness. It got very scientific, which I loved, because I learned SO much about how the brain and the mind work. (For those of you who don’t know what the chakras are, there are a variety of definitions…I refer to them as the 7 main centers of spiritual energy in the body).

In this training, we were referred to the book, “How to Train a Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness”, by Jan Chozen Bays, MD. We didn’t get into the book too much, but as soon as I heard it contained mindfulness exercises, I had to buy a copy for myself. Mindfulness is something I struggle with constantly, so any help I can get to improve this area of my life is most welcome. And I love homework!

Let me just say…I. LOVE. THIS. BOOK! In just reading her introduction, I finally understood my fascination with elephants after all these years. You see, mindfulness is deliberately paying attention  — full attention — to what’s going on around you and within you, right here, right now. It is being aware of these things without criticism or judgment.

Training your mind in the art of mindfulness takes a lot of work for some people. Me, for sure! In the book, the author equates training the mind to be more mindful to training a wild elephant. For example, until the elephant is tamed, it has to be tethered to a stake, have all distractions removed, and have certain tasks repeated over and over again until the elephant learns them. Similarly, to train our minds to be more mindful, we need to practice certain behaviors over and over again until we achieve the calm mind and can incorporate these behaviors without even thinking about them. And when we are more mindful, we can more easily get rid of the things in our lives that make us unhappy.

Doing this is SO hard for me! When I’m at work, I’m on it…I can focus like nobody’s business. But focusing on the things that will help me lead a happier life is such a challenge! I don’t know why, but it is SO hard to practice mindfulness. It literally makes my brain hurt.

Even with a pretty regular meditation practice, I still have trouble staying in the present moment. I constantly zone out, fret about the past, worry about the future. Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this!

If you’re looking to get better at the art of mindfulness, I highly encourage you to peruse a copy of this book. There are a variety of mindfulness exercises for you to practice, all in attempt to help you get better at being mindful. Each exercise has a description of the task and some ideas about how to remind yourself to do it when you need to, a description of other people’s discoveries with the task (their observations and insights), and then the deeper lessons you can learn from practicing the exercise.

For example, the one I am working on this week is “Leave no trace”, where I am to practice using one room in my house where I leave no trace that I’ve ever used it. The kitchen is the room I am choosing to focus on, as I tend to make all kinds of messes in there! The deeper lesson to this exercise is to put a spotlight on the tendency to be lazy. When I’m lazy, it tends to mean that I make more work for others, as they have to come clean up the mess I’ve left behind. That’s not cool!

How am I doing on this one? Well, let’s just say, I might need to spend an extra week on it! But I noticed that I am now starting to realize when I am leaving something in a way other than how I found it. Before, I don’t think I ever paid attention. So…progress is happening, albeit slowly.

There are SO many ways we can practice being mindful. If you are practicing this on your own, I’d love to hear what you do. Reply with a comment and share your tips on tricks on being more mindful. If you don’t have any, no worries! Maybe that’s your sign that now is the time to start a mindfulness practice. I’m here if you’d like my help in keeping you accountable.

Namaste and have a sparkling day!

Melanie

“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering. … The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life. … Whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one. ” ~~ Goldie Hawn

lotus
Picture courtesy of Kate Goodyear Yoga)

What a month April has been for me! I talked in my last post about some big changes I’d experienced, and after that post I had two more doosies.

The first big one was that I started a new job. This was a very big deal for me because I’ve never left a company before except for because I was moving away and couldn’t stay where I was. This time, I am staying right where I am in terms of location but have made the leap to a brand-new company. It was such a scary decision for me, but so far, I am so glad I have decided to take the chance.

The second big one just happened on Friday (4/29/2016). My beloved dog Ripley made her way to the Rainbow Bridge, after a year-long battle with cancer. We knew it was coming, and yet, I was caught so off-guard. It seemed like it happened too quick! Here she is, just a few days before she passed (if you look at her hind end, you can see just a few of the tumors that have been plaguing her for all these months).

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Though my heart is breaking, I know that she is now free of pain and that we made the right decision to let her go. The last thing I want to do is keep her around just for me, forcing her to continue suffering so much.

All this change, both good and bad, got me thinking about the story of the lotus. It’s one of the most beautiful flowers in the world and opens one petal at a time, but only grows in the mud. I love Goldie Hawn’s take on it, quoted above.

As humans, we experience a variety of suffering in our lives — illness, loss, sadness, death — that represent the mud, so to speak. But it’s how we handle these things — this “mud” — which determines how beautifully we grow. If we can take these things and learn from them, and use them to help us deal with the next bit of mud thrown at us, then the next beautiful petal opens and grows.

Referring to this story has helped me find a bit of peace, as I’ve struggled in dealing with a heaping ton of mud lately! I know that I need to step back, find the lesson in each thing, and determine the path I will take to move forward.

In yoga class this month, we’ll be focusing on extending our poses to the fullest expression we can for our own individual bodies. My students typically have a challenging time with forward folding, and I teach primarily Restorative, Yin and Deep Stretch classes. So we will be spending some quality time exploring our folds, working on ensuring our hamstrings and low back areas are dealing with “the mud” in such a way that we can let that next petal open up.

My wish for each of you this month is to take a look at the mud in your life.  What are the obstacles you are dealing with? What can you do to gain the wisdom, compassion and kindness needed to deal with them?

Doing the work is not always easy, but it’s necessary. Find comfort in knowing that everyone deals with these things at many points throughout their lives, so you are not alone. Reach out to your tribe, your community, your people. Confide in them, ask for advice, let them carry you when you need it. You’ll be surprised just how beautifully all your petals will open and bloom once you do.

Namaste,

Melanie

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” – Mandy Hale

“IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.” – Lewis Carroll

How many of you out there in Blogland take chances on a regular basis? I bet many of us would say yes, thinking of things like trying new restaurants, trying a new food, checking out a new TV show. But what about BIG chances? Things like moving to a new state (or a new country), getting back into the dating game after a long time away, accepting a new job, starting a whole new career? I’m going to guess that many of you would say you’re not quite THAT brave!

Truthfully, I have to admit that I usually fall in the camp of not taking chances. Not the big ones, anyway. I call it the “Why rock the boat?”, or the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality. Sound familiar? Am I the only one?

Bueller? Bueller? (OK, only you fans of 80s movies will understand that reference.)

Image result for ferris bueller

Well, this past month, I really turned things around and have taken quite a few chances. Big ones! Here’s just a sampling:

  • I mentioned in my last post about how I’d joined a wonderful group of ladies, where our purpose was to better ourselves. Through a variety of daily online challenges, I stepped outside of my comfort zone on several occasions, sharing things I would NEVER have thought I’d share with people I just met, many of whom I only knew virtually through this group. I can remember how queasy my stomach got a few times, thinking, “Should I share this? Are they going to think I’m a freak?!” But every time, I swallowed the fear and went for it, and I gotta tell ya…it felt so FREEING! Each and every time I shared something super personal, it was like a weight had lifted. AND, it connected me with women I didn’t know prior, and I feel like I’ve formed some new friendships, ones that will last the test of time. And these ladies trusted ME with their stuff, too…that is an amazing feeling, to know that someone is trusting me with their deepest emotions. It makes me feel like I’m holding on to something precious…and I am…trust is so, SO precious!
  • I’ve probably mentioned before in posts how much I enjoy teaching yoga to those who are dealing with limitations, injuries and illness. After all, it’s helped me so much with each of these things, and I want to share what I know and help others. Too many times, when we’re experiencing one or more of these things and go to a group class, we feel very out of place because we need so much special attention. And if you’re like me, you end up just not going at all because you don’t want to be “that” person, the one who holds everything up and slows the class down because you need help. Well, my lovely friend, Michele, has been teaching a special class on Sundays for a while now. It’s called “Restorative Yoga for Healing and Wellbeing”, and it is specifically for those suffering from illness, injuries or limitations. After a lovely girls’ lunch with Michele, she asked if I’d be interested in taking it over, as she just has so much on her plate right now. I felt honored she would think of me, as that means she is entrusting me to take care of students who have now become a second family to her. I didn’t hesitate at all…I said yes right away. I surprised myself, to be honest. I’ve taught to special needs people before, but usually one-on-one, in a private session. But THIS…this will mean I have to cater to a whole variety of conditions all at once. Which means I’ll have to let go of my OCD-like need to make every class feel like it’s flowing with a kick-ass playlist. I envision myself running around throughout this class, making sure everyone has the props they need so they don’t hurt themselves. Sure, I can do all that and still maintain a relaxing and calm atmosphere…right? Right?(Bueller? Bueller?…)

There’s one other BIG one, but it’s not one I can share publicly just yet. I’ll cover that one in my next post. I promise.

I’ve mentioned in prior posts how chaotic things can get when change comes about. And let’s face it…most of the time, when you take a chance with something new, you’re going to experience change. It’s inevitable. When the time comes and you decide it’s time to take a chance, I think it’s important to do the things you need to do in order to stay grounded. If you don’t, then the chaos (or the “swirl”, as I sometimes refer to it) can overtake and overwhelm you. If you let that happen, you’re more likely to fail, or worse yet, you’re more likely to avoid taking chances in the future.

I know I usually only post one quote in each of my posts, but the two I’ve included up above just spoke so profoundly to me, I had to use both of them. They literally made me tear up when I heard them, as they were spoken at exactly the moment I needed to hear them. And hearing them let me know that these chances I’m taking are worth it. And they also reminded me that without taking these chances, I’ll continue to feel “stuck” and unable to grow.

Anywho, to deal more effectively with all this swirl that is here now, and the swirl that is yet to come, I’ll be focusing on yoga poses and techniques that stimulate the Root (Muladhara) Chakra. This is the chakra that, when balanced, helps us feel grounded, safe and connected to the earth. When it’s out of balance, fear takes over and wreaks havoc…we become suspicious of others, indecisive, overwhelmed, and overly dependent on others. And who wants THAT? Not me!

Some poses I’ll be including in my practice regularly while I am dealing with all the swirl are:

  • Easy Seated Pose (Sukhasana)
  • Warrior 1 (Virabhadrasana 1)
  • Triangle (Trikonasana)
  • Grounded Airplane (Virabhadrasana III variation)
  • Balancing Half Moon (Ardha Chandrasana)
  • Seated Tree (Janu Sirsasana)
  • Supine Bound Angle (Supta Badha Konasana)
  • Legs Up the Wall (Viparita Karani)

Also, I’ll be giving myself foot massages, as this can do wonders with helping a person feel grounded. Try it yourself…take your fingers between your toes to stretch them and feel your base. Your base is what helps you feel grounded.

And knowing myself the way I do, I need to be extremely faithful to my meditation practice during this time of swirl. I’ve been experiencing a relapse with my Lyme symptoms, and I know it’s because I haven’t been doing a good job with managing my stress and anxiety. My meditation practice has always helped me in these areas, so I need to make the time for it.

Maybe you’ve been afraid to take chances in your own life. Believe me, I totally get it. I’m the same way, but I finally got to the point where I was tired of feeling stuck and feeling regret at letting things pass me by. So I encourage you to try it for yourself. If you’re letting fear keep you from growing, from taking a chance that could prove to be something wonderful, then I challenge you to stop letting it hold you back. Take the chance. Will you fail? Maybe. But if you don’t even try, you’ll never know what could have been. And if you DO fail, there’s a lesson in it that will help you for the next time. So go ahead…take a chance, already!

Namaste,

Melanie

“There’s a rebirth that goes on with us continuously as human beings. I don’t understand, personally, how you can be bored. I can understand how you can be depressed, but I just don’t understand boredom.” ~~ Dustin Hoffman

March is here, and the groundhog told us last month that Spring was on its way, so I am super excited to move on from Winter! Springtime is always an exciting time to me because there is so much new and returning life coming into the world. New flowers blooming, new leaves on the trees, new buds popping up from the things planted in a garden. The birds come back, so I get to hear their beautiful morning chirps. Good stuff!

Because there is so much “new” going on at this time of year, it’s the perfect time to de-clutter. To make room for all the new, sometimes we need to remove the things that no longer serve us. I like to think of it as a rebirth of sorts. If you take the time to REALLY think about what you should remove from your life, and then REALLY think about what you want to replace that with, isn’t that sort of creating a new you? I think so!

For me, I love this process. I love getting introspective and mulling over all the things I’m doing in my life, taking a long hard look at each one so I can figure out if it’s still something that is helping me grow. In the past, I’ve just noted it in my head and promised to get rid of it. Then I think about where I want to go in my life and start trying to think of what I can incorporate to help me get there. But again, I have typically just noted in my head what I want and promise to make it happen.

What I’ve found is that I’ve lost probably 50% of what I committed to get rid of or add in. Why? Probably because, for me and for most people, it doesn’t keep you accountable. If there is no record of what you decided on, then it doesn’t count, in my opinion. Because, let’s face it — sometimes giving up something we’re used to is HARD! It may be something that, even though it isn’t good for us, it sure does FEEL good! Or for the things we know we need to start doing, it may require us to deal with some uncomfortable emotions or situations — who wants to feel all SQUIRMY, right?!

This year, I’m approaching this season of change and rebirth a little differently. I’m writing things down this time. I’ve got a journal, and I’m doing a different mental exercise each day and then writing about it in my journal. Once I’ve made my way through each exercise, I will review it all and use those writings to help me write out my final list — my list of things to boot out the door and things to bring in.

What kind of exercises? Well, I just happen to be participating in a great 31-day challenge right now with a group of amazing women, and the whole goal is to better ourselves (shout out to Sarah for starting this group and organizing each day’s challenge…she truly is amazing! I don’t know if she reads my blog, but I hope she understands how much women need these kinds of challenges…we so often beat ourselves up for the most mundane of things!). Each day, we get a new challenge and some of those involve writing about the very things I talked about above. One task was to write our personal mission statement…I enjoyed that one, because I’d never done that before!

One was to write, at various times of the day, things we are grateful for. I’ve never done that in this way before. I’ve written about things I’m grateful for, but usually all at once. By doing it this way (3 things in the morning, 3 things mid-day and 4 things at the end of the day), I feel like I paid more attention to events happening to me in the present moment and I included some of those in my list that day. Here’s the output of that day:

journalentry

As you can see, some of these things on my list would be considered “little” things, but it truly is the little things that can add up to making our lives good, in my opinion.

In the yoga classes I teach this month, I’ll be focusing on the theme of rebirth as well. Normally, if I were still teaching vinyasa classes regularly, I’d focus on Sun Salutations, because they help with enlivening and energizing you, especially if you’ve had a pretty sedentary winter. If you’re not familiar with Sun Salutations, or if you want to try a new variation than what you may be used to, check this link out…it’s got several different variations, and some videos of different versions…lots of great stuff!

Since I mostly focus on Deep Stretch classes, I will be planning to incorporate lots of twists. Not only are twists detoxifying, but they help stoke your metabolic fire. Many of us gravitate towards “heavy” foods in the winter time, and they can make the metabolism more sluggish. So let’s clear that junk OUT…PRONTO! I plan on incorporating Wide-Kneed Child’s Pose with a Twist…something different, as many of us probably wouldn’t think of twisting in Child’s Pose. Check out this link for information about this pose and to see what it looks like.

Hopefully, I’ve given you lots of stuff in this post to get your mind thinking about your own rebirth. I love the quote by Dustin Hoffman above, because he absolutely nails it on the head. If you do the work to figure out how to make your continuous rebirth what it needs to be in order for you to grow, then how could you possibly be bored? What will YOU do to help usher in this new season in your life? I’d love to hear what you come up with!

Namaste,

Melanie

 

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.”
~~ Regina Brett

Today was a momentous day for me. As many of you who have been following my blog may know, I’ve been making my way through the Toastmasters program, working on both the Competent Communicator (CC) and the Competent Leader (CL) certifications.

I completed my CL earlier this month, which felt great. I mean, now I can actually say I am a competent leader…the certificate says so! See? Here I am, super happy after opening my big envelope from Toastmasters International when it came in the mail.

Toastmasters_CL

Well, today I completed my final speech for my CC certification. This was a tough one for me, because it’s the “Inspire Your Audience” speech and has to be 8-10 minutes in length. All my speeches up to this point have revolved around some aspect of happiness, so I decided that with this one, I was going to put it all out there and share MY story. My story of how yoga came into my life, and how it helped me to deal with some pretty heavy stuff.

I was so nervous! The Toastmasters club I’m part of is held at my company, so everyone who is a member is someone I work with. And today, we decided as a club to use this as a demo meeting, in hopes of attracting some new members. So now, not only would I be sharing my story — my very PERSONAL story — with the people I’ve gotten to know rather well since joining the club, but I was also having to share it with anyone who happened to stop by to check things out.

Yesterday afternoon, I started to realize that I was getting sick. I had a fever, sore throat, headache and aches/pains. Oh no! Talk about pressure! I woke up this  morning not feeling any better, but at least not feeling any worse. I figured, “Well, I know this stuff. After all, it is MY story. So I just need to give it up to God and do my best.”

We were fortunate at today’s meeting to have our speeches video taped, which is great! I really wanted to see how I came across, to see if I relayed the message I really wanted to. Usually I post the text of my speeches here for you all, but since I have a video to share, I figured maybe you might want to see how it really came off.

Now, I will admit that I forgot a couple of things, but I don’t feel that them missing detracted at all from my message. And I was SUPER  happy that I didn’t get too emotional and cry.🙂

So without further ado, here is the link to my final Toastmasters speech, titled “Take My Breath Away.” I’d love to know your thoughts!

Namaste,

Melanie

 

“Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.” ~~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

As many of you know, I’ve been on hiatus since August from all my yoga and indoor cycling teaching. I needed to do that for a variety of reasons, and I am so happy I did. It allowed me to take the time to be there for my daughter as she made her way through her first year of middle school cheerleading, and it allowed me to help her more with her homework.

It also allowed me to have some time for ME. And believe me, I took advantage of that! I read a lot of good books, got a chance to watch some shows I’ve never had the time to watch before (OMG, I simply am addicted to Grey’s Anatomy! How did I end up waiting until this summer to finally decide I needed to watch this show??? I am currently in the middle of season 10 and still loving it!), and have been able to get back into a nice exercise routine. Mostly, though, I’ve learned how to pare back and relax a little.

That being said, I’ve MISSED teaching. I actually didn’t think I missed it, to be fair. I was dead set on never teaching again because I felt like it took time away from so many things I love. But over the holidays, my husband and I had some really great conversation about “life”. And he so eloquently pointed out that I’d been acting pretty depressed over the past two months. Don’t get me wrong…I’ve been happy about SO MANY THINGS, as my posts have indicated. But he could see what I couldn’t. That something was missing. Something that is part of who I am.

That something is teaching. SOOOO…he encouraged me to step back in to the world I’ve been missing. And thankfully, the places I was teaching have been very agreeable about bringing me back into to the fold as they can.

Let me preface with making it clear that I won’t be teaching as much as I used to. I worked very hard these past few months to establish balance, so I need to make sure I continue to do that. For now, I’ll just be jumping in on a couple of weekend rotations, to get myself back into the groove.

If you’re interested in yoga, I’ll be on the Deep Stretch rotation at Synergy Yoga’s Rock Hill location on Sundays from 4:30-5:30 p.m., followed by a 15-minute free guided meditation. I’ll actually be teaching next Sunday (1/17), so join me if you’d like to end your weekend with a super relaxing class.

If you’re interested in indoor cycling, I am on the 8:00 a.m. Saturday rotation at the YMCA located in the Baxter neighborhood of Fort Mill. I’ve actually already filled in a couple of times for this class, and have really loved getting back in the saddle. This month, I’ll be teaching on 1/23, so if you’ve got some time, come join me on the bike for a high-energy class!

So. There you go. I’m starting over. I’m scared and excited all at the same time. Scared, because what if this doesn’t work? What if I get back into the stressful patterns I did before? But excited. Excited because I think I’ve got this! I’ve worked really hard these past few months, and I truly feel I’ve gotten to know myself pretty well. I think I just need to trust that I can do this.

Say a little prayer for me that I am making the right decision. I am so excited to get back to students I’ve missed seeing, and I also look forward to meeting new students and sharing my experiences with them.

Namaste y’all!

Melanie

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